A Testimonial in the Form of a Poem, to be hummed to the tune of Suzanne, by Leonard Cohen...

Sharon

Sharon takes you down to a building with a teller
you can smell the money there, you can hear the tender crackle,
but you wonder if you're worthy,
if this process you can tackle
when he shows you stacks of documents in English and you buckle -
but just when he's going to tell you that he has no loan to give you
She says, "All loans shall be limbo then, until low rates unlock them!" 

All brokers want to stroke her and the lenders want to tend her
They compete to bring her COFI
They would give a Jumbo ARM if she'd Conform...

And you want to mortgage with her
And a house you want to find
And she knows you cannot give up
For she holds the perfect loan there in her mind                                                

There are homesteads that are vacant, there are duplexes and condos
There are yards so full of weeds among the yards that you see well-mowed
There are shingles that are dangling and fences that are leaning
There are rooms that lead to rooms that only need a thorough cleaning
There  are mortgages with ARMs and there are mortgages with legs
There are mortgages with Fannie, and mortgages with Fred
You can get in bed with Alan, give your first born to the Fed -
with Sharon as the broker...                                                                          

And you want to mortgage with her
and include a credit line
She will look on you with PITI
for she has the perfect loan for you in mind

Sharon takes your hand and leads you to a condo -
"You'll need a special program, but it is one that we can fund, though..."
And you have your small down payment, tucked in your modest raiment
And you wonder if you're opting for more freedom or enslavement
But lenders want to lie down with Our Lady of the Buy Down
She puts their souls in escrow until the rates start sinking like a stone          

And you want a mortgage with her
and you want to finance whole
But it's not just for the title, but also to indemnify your soul.

Sharon whispers soft, in a warehouse with a loft
You can live here, work here, prosper here for a fraction of the cost
Other brokers want to stroke you, and the banks will never thank you
The officers who hold your fate will all think that they outrank you
Other lenders want to bend you to their will                                                

But you'll want to mortgage with her
And you'll want to amortize
And you'll want her expertise
For she holds the answers to your questions in her mind

J.E.B., Fairfax, California